


12 Days of Christmas—Speedster Style

by RascalJoy (DarkQuill)



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Romance, Trolling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-06 15:59:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 19,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5423177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkQuill/pseuds/RascalJoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Christmas time rolls around, Wally is faced with the pressing question of what he should get his girlfriend for Christmas...and ends up with an interesting result.</p><p>A countdown to Christmas—Spitfire style.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted from Fanfiction.net.
> 
> Original publish date: 12-13-14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted from Fanfiction.net.
> 
> Original publish date: 12-14-14

_Central City_  
_December 13, 20:00_

Wally had been pacing so long, he'd worn a groove into the carpet of his bedroom. Well, worn it down more, anyway.

A quick glance at the calendar informed him it was December 13. He had 13 days, counting today. Just 13 days to figure out what to give the love of his life, Artemis Crock, as a Christmas present for their very first Christmas as a couple. Not to mention that Christmas fell crazily close to their first year anniversary, so he had to make his gift extra special.

But what could he do that wasn't utterly cheesy or cliché?

Flowers? No. That was more of a Valentine's Day thing, and it was winter anyway. Chocolates? That idea had some merit. But then he remembered Artemis griping about the strict diet she was on to stay in shape. So, probably not. (Who would give up chocolate for a diet? Wally sure wouldn't.) A diamond ring?

Wally froze in his tracks. Okay, where had that come from? Too early, too early...

He moaned in frustration. Why was finding the perfect gift so _difficult_? It's not like their entire relationship hung in the balance over one stupid present... Right?

He scowled, running a hand through his fiery red hair. What did Artemis like?

Arrows, running around on rooftops, shampoo—none of which really presented something he could work with.

With a huff, he plopped down his bed, lying on his back and throwing a hand over his eyes dramatically. He flopped his free hand onto his bedside table, switching on the radio—a well-practiced maneuver from the hundreds of times he'd woken up to the stupid thing—without even glancing at what he was doing. Maybe the cheery, Christmasy music they always played around this time would put him in the mood for some Christmas-related inspiration.

... _a partridge in a pear tree_ , sang some woman.

Wally snorted in amusement as the song continued with "Six geese a laying;" this song had always been a mystery to him. Who would give his girlfriend geese for Christmas?

An idea slowly appeared through the fog in his brain. He lifted his arm off his eyes, turning to look at the radio with interest as it continued playing.

He snatched his laptop off of his desk, doing a quick search. His jaw dropped, eyes ogling at the screen. "27 THOUSAND DOLLARS?!" he screeched. "Who has that kind of money?"

He smacked his forehead as one obvious answer came to mind.

So, that ruled out that Christmas song.

Unless...

The type of gifts in the song were too expensive. But the twelve days of Christmas idea...

A grin slowly found its way onto his features. "Wally, you're a genius," he agreed, swinging off his bed and rummaging through the surrounding piles of junk for a pencil and a piece of paper.

Oh, Artemis was going to _love_ this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters will get progressively longer :)


	2. The First Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted from Fanfiction.net.
> 
> Original publish date: 12-14-14
> 
> Also, this story occurs nearly one year into the time skip.

_On the first day of Christmas  
My boyfriend gave to me..._

—O—

_Mount Justice  
December 14, 20:54_

_Recognized: Artemis B06_

Artemis waited a moment for the familiar fuzzy feeling of her atoms coming back together. Blinking the spots out of her eyes, she stepped into the Cave's zeta room, intent on talking to Kaldur about the new Atlantean team members before the team debriefing in fifteen minutes.

And that's when she noticed it.

She froze in her tracks, staring in shock at the thing before her. Okay, that had _definitely_ not been in the zeta room yesterday. Sitting in a pot in the middle of the room was...a pear tree. And sitting in said pear tree was a very familiar, fully-costumed bird.

"Robin?" she asked in confusion.

The Boy Wonder glanced up from his wrist computer, an expression of pure boredom on his face. "'Sup."

Artemis blinked a couple times to make sure she wasn't hallucinating, but the object remained where it was. She slowly stepped forward, reaching out to touch the bark and half-expecting her hand to pass through it like a hologram. Her hand met the rough bark, her skin tingling against the uneven surface.

Nope. Definitely real. But it didn't look like a pear tree... She studied the pattern of the bark, the hanging fruit, and the somewhat scattered foliage. The pears proved to have been tied onto the tree by strings. Well, that made more sense. But it still didn't explain one thing...

She turned her attention to the tree's occupant, frowning at the 15-year-old. "What are you doing in a pear tree?"

Robin shrugged, turning his attention back to the glowing holographic screen. He gestured vaguely downward. "There's a note or something for you."

It was then that Artemis noticed the paper card taped to the rim of the blue pottery pot. She hesitated a moment, deciding whether she really wanted to know what this was about. Deciding to risk it, she carefully reached down and plucked the note from the rim. She raised an eyebrow at the untidy scrawl in the center of the page:

_To my beloved Artemis: A Robin in a pear tree._

"Hey, Rob," Artemis said, holding the note up for the boy to see. "What is this?"

Robin gave the paper a cursory glance. He snorted in derision, scowling lightly. "It's a surprise. Something about the twelve days of Christmas."

Artemis blinked. "Do I really want to know?"

The teen considered this. "No," he said finally. "No, you probably don't."

—O—

_...A Robin in a pear tree_


	3. The Second Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted from Fanfiction.net.
> 
> Original publish date: 12-15-14

 

_On the second day of Christmas  
My boyfriend gave to me..._

—O—

_Mount Justice  
December 15, 21:59_

_Recognized: Artemis B06_

Artemis carefully stepped out of the zeta tube, cautiously examining her surroundings. There was no sign of anything abnormal—pear trees or otherwise—in the zeta chamber.

Relieved, she started down the hall for the lounge, intent on picking up the spare rebreather she'd left accidentally on the couch from the last mission. Hey, maybe she was paranoid, but she had no interest in ever being caught in a drowning situation unprepared again. As such, she wanted both rebreathers in her quiver at all times.

She entered the lounge, seeing the upper bodies of M'gann and Conner over the back of the couch. Then she noticed something else: the couple had a bright red bow wrapped around their shoulders, a piece of paper taped to an impassive Conner's forehead.

M'gann noticed her arrival, turning half around to beam at her in the doorway. "Oh, hi, Artemis! Isn't it wonderful? We're a part of your Christmas present this year!"

Words failed her. All that came out was, "Ummm...cool?"

M'gann reached over and carefully pulled the piece of paper from her stony-faced boyfriend's forehead, waving a finger so it levitated just at Artemis's eye level. The paper unfolded, revealing the following: _To my beloved Artemis: Two lover birds._

"Um...I have to go...sharpen arrows now," Artemis murmured, hastily retreating from the doorway and half trotting for her room on the other side of the Mountain.

Her thoughts were in a turmoil as she jogged down the hall. This was obviously a very strange gimmick based on the Twelve Days of Christmas song. As obviously, there could only be one person behind such a stupid, cheesy—and somewhat sweet—idea: Wally West.

Getting him to own up could be amusing...

She reached her room door and quickly typed in her four digit passcode. A slight beep echoed and the lock clicked open as she grasped the handle and opened the door—only to freeze in the doorway, barely managing not to squeak in surprise. Standing right before her dresser was the pear tree from yesterday, complete with dangling, upside down Boy Wonder. "Robin, what the heck?" she cried.

If a mask hadn't been over his eyes, Artemis bet she would have seen them roll. "Believe me, that's what I'm thinking," Robin snapped.

He leapt from the branches, swerving around Artemis and trotting hastily from the room.

That's when she saw the note on the tree's pot: _To my beloved Artemis: A Robin in a pear tree._

Artemis turned and watched the Boy Wonder retreat down the hallway. This was promising to be a very interesting week.

—O—

_...Two lover birds  
And a Robin in a pear tree_


	4. The Third Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted from Fanfiction.net.
> 
> Original publish date: 12-16-14

 

_On the third day of Christmas  
My boyfriend gave to me..._

—O—

_Mount Justice  
December 16, 22:57_

Artemis had been wary of going to the Cave today. It had taken her a couple minutes of pondering outside of the zeta entrance before she had decided to simply woman up and face the inevitable weirdness that was to come. After all, with ten days of Christmas left, she'd better get used to the randomness.

She slunk carefully down the hallways, eyes open for any unpleasant surprises around the corner. To her surprise and slight relief, nothing showed itself. She slipped into the kitchen area unhindered, smirking slightly to herself as she opened one of the cupboards.

It was empty.

She frowned slightly. The cupboards in Mount Justice were almost never bare. M'gann usually made sure to keep the mountain's larders fully stocked for the resident speedster. She opened the next cabinet and her frown deepened. It too was inexplicably bare.

She opened cabinet after cabinet, coming up empty each time until finally she pulled back the door of the very last one. Three long pieces of bread lay at the bottom of the wooden space, wrapped in a sheet of paper on which the now familiar untidy script was written.

_To my beloved Artemis: Three French baguettes._

She stared at the words. Well, at least it was an object this time.

"Surprise!" cried a voice behind her, and she started in shock, bumping her head on the wooden cupboard roof. "Merry Christmas!"

Artemis pulled her head out of the cupboard, rubbing the sore spot on her head to find M'gann and Conner standing above her, connected by a golden ribbon and notebook paper.

M'gann was smiling widely. Conner was scowling deeply.

_To my beloved Artemis: Two lover birds._

A surprised shout and a _WHOOSH_ later, the pear tree stood beside the gift wrapped couple. Robin struggled from his sprawled position amongst the branches.

"I didn't sign up for all 12 days, Wally!" he yelled at the empty doorway.

A yellow blur shot through the room and a flash of something white was slapped on Robin's forehead before the blur disappeared.

_To my beloved Artemis_ , it read. _A Robin in a pear tree._

"Son of a troll!" Robin cursed, jumping down from the tree and stalking angrily out of the room.

Artemis couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. "That was slightly hypocritical."

"What?" M'gann asked, confused.

"You know, Robin's a troll, and he just—"

"Robin's a _troll_?!" M'gann squeaked.

"Oh, never mind," Artemis sighed.

—O—

_...Three French baguettes_   
_Two lover birds  
And a Robin in a pear tree_


	5. The Fourth Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted from Fanfiction.net.
> 
> Original publish date: 12-17-14

 

_On the fourth day of Christmas  
My boyfriend gave to me..._

—O—

_Gotham City  
December 17, 23:57_

Sharpening arrows was one of Artemis's favorite past times. Besides actually using them, of course. It may have sounded boring to anyone else, but there was something soothing about the constant grating of metal on metal as she worked the points razor-sharp. It also gave her a great opportunity to think about things. Like her boyfriend's latest great idea.

She glanced at the clock. She'd noticed there had been a pattern with the time and the appearance of a present, each new gift arriving almost exactly 25 hours after the last. It was almost 4pm; whatever was coming next was going to be in a group of four.

Just then, a buzzing sound erupted in the previous quiet of her room. It took her a moment to realize that it was her cellphone. She quickly snagged the device off of her nearby bedside table, glancing at the caller ID with a frown.

She pressed receive, putting the phone to her ear. "What do you want, Grayson?"

She could practically hear the smile in his voice when he replied: "Nothing. Just...ahem... _calling_ you."

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Well, is there a point to you just _calling_ me?"

"Nope," Dick chirped. "Seeya!"

A quiet click followed by the dial tone revealed that he'd hung up.

Before she had the chance to ponder the purpose behind the troll's obviously trolling call, her phone buzzed again.

She blinked at the caller ID before once more pressing receive. "Hello?"

"Hey, Artemis!" came the cheery voice of Barbara Gordon. "What's up?"

"Uh, nothing much," Artemis answered. "Why?"

"Just thought I'd call you," Barbara said. "Well, have a great winter break. Bye!"

The redhead hung up.

Instantly, the device in her hand vibrated again.

Not even bothering to check the caller ID, Artemis put the phone to her ear. "Hello?" she answered, barely controlling her rising irritation.

"Whoa, chill, girl," Zatanna giggled. "Sounds like someone had a bad day."

Artemis sighed. "No, it was actually fine. Just some weird stuff has been going on lately."

"Really?" Zatanna said. "Never would have thought."

Artemis had to smile at that. "Yeah. How's your life been?"

"Life's been going," Zatanna admitted. "Loving winter break."

"Tell me about it," Artemis agreed. "So what's with the sudden chat? No offense, just that I seem to be getting a lot of people dropping lines lately."

"Oh, just decided to call," Zatanna said chalantly. "I'll see you around, okay, Artemis?"

The magician hung up, leaving Artemis glaring at her phone. Okay, what was the deal here?

The phone buzzed again. Irritated, she punched the receive button. "What?" she snapped.

"Uh, hi," said the familiar voice of Bette Kane.

Artemis sighed. "What do you want, Bette?"

Bette snorted. "No need to sound so hostile. I was just instructed to call you at 4 o'clock, but your line was busy, so I waited till now. Since you obviously don't want to talk to me, bye."

"Wait!" Artemis cried. "Instructed by who?"

The phone clicked and the dial tone echoed in Artemis's ear. She tossed the device onto her bed. Almost immediately, a short buzz echoed through the room and the screen lit up.

With some trepidation, she picked it up. The text read: _To my beloved Artemis: Four calling friends._

Artemis resisted the urge to face palm. Had there really been any doubt?

Just then, the doorbell rang. She raised an eyebrow. Who could that be?

She heard the familiar squeaky creak of the front door opening. Then, moments later: "Artemis?" came her mother's confused call. "It's for you."

Eyebrows furrowing, Artemis swung off her bed and trotted lightly to the front of the apartment.

Her mother sat by the still open door, holding a bag in her arms. Inside sat three long pieces of bread.

_To my beloved Artemis: Three French baguettes._

The former Huntress raised an eyebrow. "Did you order this?"

Artemis groaned, giving into the urge to introduce her face to her palm. "Don't worry about it," she grumbled, stalking back into her room. Apparently avoiding the Cave wouldn't stop her boyfriend's crazy presents.

She had barely sat down on the bed when a loud knock echoed on the window.

Artemis jerked upright in surprise as the curtains swept back and the glass raised itself. In swept a very excited Martian with a very annoyed half-Kryptonian in her arms. M'gann settled to the ground, beaming at the archer from around the green ribbon wrapped around her and Conner.

"Merry Christmas!" she crowed happily, holding a bright white sheet of paper in her hands.

_To my beloved Artemis: Two lover birds._

"Yeah," grumbled a new voice. "Merry Christmas."

Still in slight shock, Artemis peered out the window. Sitting on the fire escape, in a pear tree, was a very disgruntled Robin.

_To my beloved Artemis: A Robin in a pear tree._

"How do you know where I live?!" she demanded.

Robin raised an eyebrow under his mask. "Are you seriously asking _me_?"

Artemis shook her head slowly. "Why do I even bother?"

—O—

 _...Four calling friends_  
_Three French baguettes_  
_Two lover birds_  
 _And a Robin in a pear tree_


	6. The Fifth Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted from Fanfiction.net.
> 
> Original publish date: 12-18-14

_On the fifth day of Christmas  
My boyfriend gave to me..._

—O—

_Mount Justice  
December 18, 25:01_

Artemis tried something different. She waited until the last possible moment before 5pm, then slipped out of her apartment and zeta-ed to the Cave. It was a very slim chance, but maybe, just maybe, she could avoid her boyfriend's whacked out gift ideas.

So far, so good. She had made it to the Cave, and then down the hall to her room without encountering any of her other team members. Which probably should be worrying considering two of them lived there full-time...

Upon opening the door to her designated bedroom and poking her head through the crack, there appeared to be nothing out of the ordinary in her room. No humans or aliens, at least. She would have to ask Wally when this was all over what possessed him to give her her friends for Christmas.

She glanced quickly down the hall before stepping into her room, shutting the door behind her.

With a smirk, she sat down on her bed, pulling her spare quiver of arrows—the purpose of her visit to the Cave—from under the bed.

And that's when she saw it.

She blinked, pulling the golden bundle of arrows out of the quiver. The predicted note was stuck to one of the obviously painted shafts.

_To my beloved Artemis: Five golden arrows._

Further examination revealed that these arrows looked awfully familiar.

"Wally!" she protested, though knowing the speedster wasn't there to hear. "These are my arrows painted gold!"

She scratched lightly at the paint with her thumbnail, frowning when it remained stubbornly stuck to the shaft. Great. Harper would never let her get over it if she started shooting golden arrows around Star City.

The quiver in her lap vibrated, and she started slightly in surprise.

After a moment of digging, her hand surfaced with her phone—how did _that_ get in there?—from among the arrows. She sighed at the sight of four missed calls from Dick, Artemis, Zatanna, and Bette, and one text. She almost didn't need to open it to know what it said.

_To my beloved Artemis: Four missed calls._

She raised an eyebrow. How had he...? Never mind. She didn't want to know.

Slinging the quiver over her shoulder, she made to leave her room when she nearly stepped on something just outside her door. She picked up the package, glancing at the words on the side: _To my beloved Artemis: Three French baguettes._

Her mother was going to love this.

She jogged to the zeta room, keeping an eye out for a certain couple as she slipped through the unusually silent halls. It was with hesitation that she entered the main hall with still no sign of anyone, pair or otherwise.

She involuntarily jumped as the zeta tube whirred to life, taking a step back in trepidation.

_Recognized: Kaldur B02, Rocket 26_

Artemis frowned at the unexpected designations as two figures stepped out of the light.

Her fingers twitched as she noticed something else: two silver ribbons wrapped around their wrists and knotted together in the middle.

"Hey, girl," Rocket greeted, starting to wave. When something impeded her movement, she glanced down in surprise, as if just noticing the ribbon tied to her wrist. "Uh, when did that get there?"

Kaldur glanced down too, eyebrows furrowing at the sight of their joined wrists. "I do not know. We were not like this when we first arrived at the zeta tube."

"You know, I think I felt a breeze just before we stepped in," Rocket commented. "And maybe...yellow?"

Artemis slapped her forehead, causing the two to look at her curiously. "That idiot."

"What now?" Rocket asked.

Before Artemis could answer, a familiar wind shot through the room, barely stopping to set something carefully down on the ground before shooting off again.

Rocket opened her mouth in surprise, but suddenly the blur was back, dumping something beside the first object, then once more disappearing down an adjacent hallway.

 _"WALLY!"_ the Boy Wonder screamed, flipping to his feet beside the slightly wilting pear tree. "Get back here! You can't make me do this anymore!" He sprinted off in the direction the blur had gone.

There was a short silence.

Rocket slowly walked over to the pear tree and plucked a piece of paper from the branches. "To my beloved Artemis," she read aloud, "two lover birds, and a Robin by a pear tree." She blinked. "Meaning?"

Artemis opened her mouth to respond when Rocket held her free hand up to stop her explanation.

"You know what," Rocket snarked, "I don't think I wanna know."

—O—

 _...Five golden arrows_  
_Four missed calls_  
_Three French baguettes_  
_Two lover birds_  
 _And a Robin by a pear tree_


	7. The Sixth Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted from Fanfiction.net.
> 
> Original publish date: 12-19-14

_On the sixth day of Christmas  
My boyfriend gave to me..._

—O—

_Gotham City  
December 19, 25:59_

Artemis watched the clock out of the corner of her eye, aimlessly surfing the channels on the small TV in an attempt to find something halfway decent to watch. Unfortunately, or fortunately, nothing presented itself. The Christmas classics that her mother always insisted on watching around this time of year had seemed to have magically disappeared with the loss of their cable.

The hour hand of the clock hit 6pm exactly. Here it comes...

The doorbell rang.

"Artemis, would you get the door?" her mother called from the other side of their admittedly tiny apartment.

Artemis sighed. "Sure, Mom."

With an exasperated huff, Artemis swung herself up from the couch, plodding to the closed door.

She swung it open with a jerk. "Yes?" she snapped.

The deliveryman—a nervous looking man in his twenties with shaggy brown hair—blinked in surprise, hand poised to punch the doorbell again. He quickly lowered his hand, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. "Uh, delivery for Ms. Artemis Crock," he stammered, holding out a rather large package.

Artemis frowned at the brown paper box as she plucked it from the boy's arms. She frowned even deeper when she saw that there was no return address. "Who did this come from?" she asked, looking up for an explanation.

She blinked as she realized the deliveryman was already gone. People were so antisocial these days. Not that she should talk. They all lived in Gotham, after all.

Juggling the box with one arm, Artemis shoved the door closed and twisted the lock before carrying it into the living room. She noticed that despite the box's size, it was actually unusually light.

She plopped it down on the floor before the couch, slightly hesitant to open it. An unlabeled package could come from anywhere—from anyone—and the contents might not exactly be savory.

Unless someone had an idiot boyfriend recreating the Twelve Days of Christmas Song for his girlfriend thinking his plot was still undiscovered by said girlfriend...

She pulled a switchblade from her pocket—always be prepared, right?—and proceeded to hack at the packing tape holding the cardboard together.

A familiar squeak of wheels and floorboards echoed behind her. "Artemis? What is that?"

Artemis grunted. "Not sure. 'Bout to find out."

With one last slash of the knife, the upper flaps were free. She carefully pushed them back, slowly peering over the edge of the box just in case there really was a stick of dynamite in there.

Deciding it was safe, she pushed back the tissue paper, pulling a pile of...flannel from the dark confines.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she held one of the pieces of flannel up into the light: it was a slightly fraying pair of sweatpants.

"Oh my," her mother murmured. "Who did those come from?"

"I have a guess," Artemis grumbled, casting her eyes over the remaining pile. There were six pairs of old sweatpants exactly. Goody.

The red-checkered one looked awfully familiar... Hadn't she seen Mrs. West wearing that last time she had dropped by for a visit? And she could have sworn those blue polka-dotted ones were identical to the ones she'd seen Iris Allen in last week.

_To my beloved Artemis: Six flannels fraying._

Artemis sighed in exasperation. _Way to go, Wally._

Then it hit her. She stiffened, eyes narrowing. "Great."

"What?" her mother demanded. "What is it?"

But Artemis was already on her feet, practically sprinting for her room. She yanked open her closet door and groaned aloud at the sight before her. Propped up in the corner was her arrow quiver. And in said quiver was a distinctly golden gleam. She pulled out two bundles of arrows (one from yesterday) and huffed angrily.

_To my beloved Artemis: Five golden arrows._

Four consecutive buzzes echoed from her phone. And then, as if an afterthought, it buzzed again. Half-heartedly, she slid the phone off her bedside table. Five new texts, the screen read. And from five familiar people...

_'SUP, ARTIE - RJG_

_Hey, Artemis. Don't work too hard, 'kay? :) - Barbara_

_Peek ruoy looc, lrig, ti si_ _tsomla revo. - Z_

_Have you finished your half of the Chemistry project yet? - Bette Kane_

Artemis rolled her eyes at that one.

_To my beloved Artemis: Four texting friends. - Anonymous W_

She smirked. Wasn't that five texting friends? Immature boyfriends counted, right?

Three quick knocks echoed on the window.

Artemis jumped. "Oh, don't you—"

The window swooshed open, a white and brown something or other flying into the room and landing with a _CRUNCH_ on the floor.

_To my beloved Artemis: Three French baguettes._

"Mom!" Artemis called, slinging her quiver over her shoulder. "I'm going out!"

Without waiting for a response, she climbed out of the window, landing lightly on the fire escape outside. She flipped over the rails and hit the ground in a roll, holding her quiver close against her back so it wouldn't slap her spine. A quick glance around the alleyway proved that there was no sign of a certain speedster.

Of course, the zeta tube was right behind her...

Within moments, her atoms were tingling back together inside the familiar interior of the Mount Justice zeta chamber.

... _Artemis B06_ , finished the computer as the archer strode into the room.

She had barely cleared the entryway when the tube behind her whirred to life again.

_Recognized: Green Arrow 08, Black Canary 13_

Two figures trotted out of the fading light, foreheads creased with worry.

"Artemis!" Green Arrow cried, swerving her direction.

"Are you all right?" Black Canary asked, looking her up and down.

Artemis blinked. "Of course I'm all right. Why wouldn't I be?"

"We got a call saying you were in trouble," Dinah insisted.

Artemis frowned.

"Well, I'm fine."

Green Arrow mimicked her frown. "But why would Wally call us if you weren't in trouble?"

There it was: Wally. Artemis glanced at the clock. She resisted the urge to introduce her palm to her face. "It's six o'clock."

A quick breeze, and a flash of white and blue later, and the two Leaguers stood before Artemis wrapped head-to-toe in blue ribbon.

"What the heck?" Green Arrow yelped, tripping over the ribbon tails in his attempt to get free.

A piece of paper floated gently to the ground at Artemis's feet.

_To my beloved Artemis: Two lover birds._

Artemis rolled her eyes and stalked away, ignoring the indignant and confused shouts of the couple behind her.

She hadn't gone far when she became aware of the sounds of struggling coming from around the corner, punctuated by a few strong words that she certainly hadn't expected to come from a certain someone. She rounded the corner and was met with a familiar sight: a pear tree (was that a pear core?) and Robin, splayed out amongst the tree limbs.

_To my beloved Artemis: A Robin in a pear tree._

The Boy Wonder was swearing loudly, struggling to sit up to no avail. When he caught sight of Artemis, he wriggled even harder. "That freak glued me to the branches!"

Artemis resisted the almost irresistible urge to laugh at the livid boy. She only managed not to with the knowledge that Robin was a Bat—and Bats always managed the worst sort of revenge.

"How'd he manage to glue you in the branches without getting a broken nose?"

Robin stopped wiggling, an evil, satisfied grin stretching over his features. "Oh, he didn't."

Artemis sighed. "Somehow, I can't find the heart to feel sorry for him..."

"Good. Now get me down!"

—O—

 _...Six flannels fraying_  
_Five golden arrows_  
 _Four texting friends_  
_Three French baguettes_  
 _Two lover birds_  
_And a Robin in a pear tree_


	8. The Seventh Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted from Fanfiction.net.
> 
> Original publish date: 12-20-14
> 
> Also, Garth and Tula have already joined the team as Tempest and Aquagirl at this point in the timeline :)

_On the seventh day of Christmas  
My boyfriend gave to me..._

—O—

_Gotham City  
December 20, 07:00_

Artemis woke up to the horribly familiar beeping of an alarm clock. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, sleep still clouding her mind. Why was her alarm on? It was Christmas break...

She flopped her arm forward, slapping the wood of the bedside table in an attempt to find and destroy the invasive sound. Her fingers came in contact with something cold and smooth. Before she could fully process what it was, something wet and slimy tingled against her fingertips.

Artemis's eyes shot open and she jerked backwards, yanking her hand from the source and slamming her head into the wall behind her in the process.

Suddenly awake, she stared in shock at the sudden and very unexpected addition to her room.

Sitting on her bedside table was a fishbowl. And in said fishbowl were various fish the color of Christmas tinsel. She lifted herself up on an elbow, eyes narrowing at the golden fish swimming inside. It took her several minutes to count them all—why wouldn't the stupid things stop _moving_?—and came up with seven exactly. Why wasn't she surprised.

Then she realized, with some embarrassment, that she had failed to notice the note taped to the rim of the fishbowl. Hey, it was 7am during _Christmas break_ —cut her some slack.

_To my beloved Artemis: Seven fish a-swimming._

Great. That also meant seven more mouths to feed. And with a speedster dropping in every week or so, their cupboards were already stretched to the limit. Maybe she could just feed them all those stale baguettes...both speedsters and fish included.

Suddenly, the radio on her bed fizzled and popped. And then it started to play.

 _Stay up late and patrol all night_  
_In a warehouse lit by a shaky light_  
_Of all the rough times in my life_  
_Those nights kept me alive_

 _Listen to police scanners play all night_  
_Didn't want to go home and end the fight_  
_Of all the rough times in my life_  
_Those nights kept me alive_

Artemis frowned (she seemed to be doing that a lot lately). It sounded familiar...and yet it didn't. And why did the singer sound like Robin?

It took a moment to register before she reached forward and turned a knob to change the channel. But the song on the next station didn't sound quite right either.

 _It's the eye of an archer_  
_It's the thrill of the flight_  
_Scraping back in between my middle fingers_  
_And the last known criminal_  
_Stalks for prey in the night_  
_But I'm watching him flee with the eye_  
_Of an archer_

Okay, those _definitely_ weren't the real lyrics. And that _definitely_ sounded like Robin. What the heck...?

This time, the station changed seemingly on its own.

_Catching my breath letting fear go, rebreathers on for the sake of the show  
Now that I know to keep them close, guess holding my breath I don't have to boast_

Artemis scowled. Was that a dig at her paranoia over drowning...?

It switched again.

 _I shoot my arrows in the air sometimes_  
_Singing ay-oh, not this time, bro_  
_I wanna beat the bads and live my life_  
_Saying ay-oh, never let go_

That one sounded more like Wally. Or...Ollie?

 _Let it fly, let it fly_  
_Let go the shaft and watch it soar_  
_Let it fly, let it fly_  
_That crook, he don't know what's in store_  
_Here I stand in the sun's last rays_  
_Let the crime rage on_  
_The chase never bothered me anyway_

Definitely Robin. Starting out of her daze, she leaned forward and smacked the SLEEP button. But her radio apparently had one more Easter egg for her:

 _Just a Gotham girl_  
_Living in a poisoned world_  
_She donned the spandex tights_  
_Shooting everywhere_

"Artemis?" came a startled voice in the hallway, the light in her room suddenly turning on. "What are you doing up so early? What is that?"

Artemis jumped, instinctively yanking the clock's plug out of the wall before whirling around to face her mother in the doorway. "Nothing, Mom! Just...listening to...the radio."

She barely contained a wince at how obvious that sounded.

Her mother raised an eyebrow at her, her eyes landing on the bedside table. "When did you get those fish? Those weren't there last night."

Artemis groaned, burying her face in her hands. "Ask Wally," she mumbled.

"I'm sorry, what?"

Artemis reluctantly pulled her head out of her hands. "I said, 'Ask Wally.'"

She involuntarily flinched as the wooden top of her bedside table vibrated, her phone lighting up in the darkened room. Twisting her neck to the side to see the screen, she quickly read the new text: _To my beloved Artemis: Six songs a-playing._

A smile quirked at her mouth. Apparently Wally was busted for those sweatpants yesterday, hence the change of tack. She wished she could have seen the look on his face when the two (older) women in his life confronted him about it.

And then Artemis remembered what came next in line. "Dang it," she muttered.

"What?" her mother demanded. "What is it?"

Without pausing to explain, Artemis swung out of bed, taking the short trek across her room in two long strides. After a bit of digging, she pulled out the targeted item, holding it up for the ex-con to see. "And while you're talking to Wally, tell him to stop painting my arrows gold."

The former huntress studied the quiver hanging from Artemis's fingers—only nine arrows stood green amongst the golden flights.

_To my beloved Artemis: Five golden arrows._

"I see," the woman said carefully. She sniffed almost disdainfully, drawing herself straight in her wheelchair. "Well, as your mother, I believe you are old enough to take care of your own relationship problems. Breakfast will be ready in fifteen minutes." She rolled out of the room, leaving her daughter gaping at her proud back.

It was only when she heard the faint chuckles from around the kitchen area did she realize that her mother was thoroughly amused by her situation.

"Great," Artemis grumbled. "My own mother is against me."

Well, at least now she knew what her mom thought of Wally.

The phone in her hand—she didn't even remember she'd been holding it—buzzed repeatedly. Artemis scowled as the count was exactly five, the last one coming after a short pause. She half-heartedly scrolled through her new texts, hardly batting an eye at the now familiar caller IDs.

_I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE - RJG_

"What the heck, Grayson?" she muttered.

_Hey, Artie. Please don't take it personally that I'm still randomly texting you :[] - Barbara_

_T'nod llik Yllaw. Eh snaem on mrah. Yltsom. - Zatanna_

Artemis snorted. No guarantees, Zatanna.

_Would you mind forwarding your list of polyatomic ions? I can't seem to find mine. - Bette Kane_

Of course Bette always had to have a "valid" excuse to text Artemis...

_To my beloved Artemis: Four texting friends. - Anonymous W_

Artemis decided it wasn't even worth replying.

The doorbell rang. Wait for it...

"Artemis? There is more bread in the door for you."

The phone in her hand vibrated yet again—it took all her willpower not to throw it into the wall—and she read the new text: _To my beloved Artemis: Three French baguettes._

"Wally, what the heck? How did you know I wasn't the one who answered the door?! Augh!"

The final exclamation came as two figures stepped into her room.

Artemis blinked in surprise. "Garth? Tula? What are you doing here?"

The two Atlanteans smiled at Artemis, inclining their heads in greeting.

"Hello, Artemis," Tula said sweetly. "We just thought it would be nice to come over and visit your lovely home."

Sure. Like two new team members she barely even knew would randomly pop by on a visit without outside prompting.

"Indeed," Garth added. "Gotham City is very...intriguing."

"Mom!" Artemis protested, blushing as she realized that the contents of her closet had scattered across the floor in what must have been Wally's search for her quiver. "Why didn't you tell me I had company?"

Said woman rolled up behind the young couple, a playful smile on her lips. "Oh, I did. But I do not think that you heard me."

Artemis barely withheld a frustrated sigh. Especially when she noticed something else. "So...where'd you two get the ribbons?"

They looked confused for a moment.

"Oh, these?" Tula realized, fingering the shiny blue bow in her hair at the same moment Garth touched the one on his wrist. "Wally said something about it being traditional human Christmas attire. Do you like it?"

Artemis didn't know whether to laugh or punch a wall. "Um...yes. It's very nice, Tula."

The Atlantean beamed at her. "Thank you, Artemis."

Fifteen minutes of idle chatter later, the two lover birds were walking out the door.

"Thank you for the lovely visit, Mrs. Crock," Tula said sweetly.

"Yes, thank you so much for your hospitality," Garth agreed.

"You are most welcome," Artemis's mother said with a smile. "Feel free to come again any time."

"We will. See you around, Artemis," Tula called as the door swept closed behind them.

_Three... Two..._

Her phone buzzed.

_To my beloved Artemis: Two lover birds._

Now all that was left was—

The door swung open seemingly on its own accord.

Just outside the doorway was a potted tree. A very familiar potted tree. And with a familiar figure literally tied to its branches.

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "Grayson? What are you doing here?"

Deep blue eyes normally bright with humor and mischief were filled with pure rage. "Get...me...down..." Dick ground out between clenched teeth.

_To my beloved Artemis: A Grayson in a pear tree._

Artemis raised an eyebrow at the livid teenager. "Oh, goody."

—O—

 _...Seven fish a-swimming_  
_Six songs a-playing_  
_Five golden arrows_  
_Four texting friends_  
_Three French baguettes_  
_Two lover birds_  
_And a Grayson in a pear tree_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to whoever can name the originals of the songs ;)


	9. The Eighth Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted from Fanfiction.net.
> 
> Original publish date: 12-21-14
> 
> Here are the original songs from yesterday in the order they appeared: "Those Nights" by Skillet, "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor, "Catching My Breath" by Kelly Clarkson, "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz, "Let it Go" by Idina Menzel, and "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey.

_On the eighth day of Christmas  
My boyfriend gave to me..._

—O—

_Gotham City  
December 21, 08:00_

The alarm clock was beeping again. Artemis couldn't even remember plugging the stupid thing back in.

With a groan, she smacked her hand against the top of the blaring box. Surprisingly, the thing actually shut up. In light of recent events, she wasn't so sure... She could almost imagine the next text: _To my beloved Artemis: Eight buzzers buzzing._

But her phone remained blessedly silent.

Slowly, she opened her eyes. The goldfish swam lazy circles around the perimeter of their bowl. The mobile device to the left was still and quiet. There was nothing unusual on the floor. In other words, nothing new presented itself in her vision.

She blinked several times, unsure if her eyes were playing tricks on her. It was sad when one has to blink when nothing crazy was going on instead of the other way around.

But still nothing showed.

"Huh," she muttered, swinging her legs out of the bed—she was awake now, so there was no point in staying in bed.

She shuffled out to the kitchen, the baggy legs of her "new" sweatpants swishing above her ankles (they were a bit short on her) as she reached the fridge.

Wearily opening the appliance, she pulled out a half gallon of milk.

Yawning cavernously, she made to close the fridge door—and froze. Yanking the handle back, she ogled at the sight that greeted her on the inner shelves: milk cartons. At least half a dozen had been jammed into the admittedly small fridge, a couple cartons teetering on the edge of the plastic partitions.

She counted them quickly: there were eight of them. "Milk, Wally?" she said to no one. "Seriously?"

It took a moment to find it among the sea of white, but on one of the cartons in the second row (Wally must have put it on before he put the milk in) was the note: _To my beloved Artemis: Eight cartons milking._

Artemis slammed her forehead onto the top of the fridge. Why was her boyfriend such an idiot?

 _Opposites attract_ , a voice in her head said.

 _Shut up_ , she told it.

 _That was a compliment!_ it protested.

_...Shut up anyway._

She carefully shut the fridge, turning to take the milk carton she had to the table, when something else caught her eye.

On the counter was a full glass of milk. Okay, she hadn't put that there...

A piece of paper had been taped to the side.

Oh, this was gonna be good.

She padded lightly to the opposite counter, peering over the rim of the glass.

Floating on the surface were seven soggy Goldfish crackers, smiling up at her with their tiny carved mouths.

The note stated: _To my beloved Artemis: Seven fish a-floating._

"Haha, Wally," Artemis murmured. "Very funny."

Preparing the rest of her breakfast was—relatively speaking—quick. It took her a few minutes to dig out a bowl and a box of cereal from the baguettes filling the cabinets, but she soon managed to bring all of the essential breakfast items to the table without further incident.

She was just pouring the milk when a crackle and popping sound came from the stereo in the corner. Oh snap...

 _Baby, you light up the room like nobody else_  
 _The way your sarcasm bites really keeps me whelmed_  
_But when you glare at my hair it ain't hard to tell_  
 _You don't know_  
_Oh oh_  
 _You don't know the brand I wear_

"What the heck?" Artemis grumbled. "What's that even supposed to _mean_?"

How was Wally even getting the Boy Wonder to sing this stuff? With all the craziness that had been going on, Robin should hate the guy by now.

The tune changed.

 _Let's go trolling trolling trolling till we're number one_  
 _I know we're not detectives, but when's that stopped us_  
_And never ever ever freeze for anyone_  
 _Tonight let's nail some_  
_And fight while we're young_

At least Wally sang one of them. Robin was still better. Not that she'd actually _tell_ Robin that.

Artemis narrowed her eyes at the machine as it switched songs again. Why did all of these sound awfully familiar?

 _So get out, get out, get out of that shed_  
 _And hold up both your arms instead_  
_I don't, I don't, don't know what it is_  
 _But you stole that weird thing_  
_And I need that weird thing_

That had to be Wally again.

She scowled as she realized why the tunes sounded so familiar: they were all One Direction songs. Not that she listened to them, but the things just came on in stores, on the streets, and basically _everywhere_. Oh, Wally was going to get it now...

 _The story of my life I shoot my bow_  
 _I fight all night to warm the cold, outside_  
_It's frozen (the story of, the story of)_  
 _The story of my life, I cling to hope_

_I search for love to heal the wounds inside  
The story of my life (the story of, the story of)_

Was that Ollie? And maybe Robin as the echo... Her mentor actually didn't sound that bad. But he didn't sound that good either. At least he was—relatively—in tune.

She shouldn't have been surprised when the tune changed again.

_Yeah so tell me girl if every time we_

_Ki-ick butt you get this kinda ru-u-ush_  
 _Villain say ow ow ow ow ow_  
_I don't really wanna take it slow_  
 _We don't really wanna go-o home_  
_Villain say ow a ow a ow a, ow a ow_  
 _Just let me sick you_

Artemis smirked. Now _that_ one made sense. Five down, one to go.

 _And we fought all night to the best sound ever_  
 _Don't know every line, I just had to get him_  
_Why he'd go, I don't know, but I won't just let him_  
 _'Cause we fought all night to the best sound ever_

 _I think it went ow, ow, ow_  
 _I think it went aye, aye, aye_  
_I think it went AAAAAAAHHHH!_

Okay, _that_ one was kinda cool too. Much more her style, and not as cheesy—mostly.

The radio switched off and her phone chirped simultaneously.

_To my beloved Artemis: Six songs a-playing._

Artemis unfortunately knew what came next.

Jogging back to her room, she yanked open the closet. Sure enough, 25 golden arrows twinkled up at her from the confines of the quiver.

_To my beloved Artemis: Five golden arrows._

She groaned aloud.

Come on, the stupid speedster had changed everything else in the song. Why couldn't he think of something other than golden arrows?!

Wait a minute...

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She only had 24 arrows in a quiver. And if Wally was counting by fives...

A rapid count revealed that there was, indeed, 25 arrows. Examining the painted shafts, she found the out of place arrow almost immediately. She drew it and one of her own from the quiver, holding them out to the hall light to compare the two.

This last arrow definitely wasn't hers. The point was different, and it felt slightly heavier in her hands.

It only took a moment for her to realize what it was: Ollie's arrow.

Despite her irritation, she managed a small smirk. Apparently now that _her_ arrows had run out (in all actuality, she had hidden the others somewhere Wally could never _ever_ find them) Wally had raided her mentor's. This could actually prove amusing.

Her phone buzzed—four times. And then once more. Crap.

_REVENGE IS MINE. - RJG_

Perfect. Grayson must have gotten to Wally. Artemis made a mental note to check up on that later.

_Hi, Artemis. Don't get mad at me, I swear it's almost over. - Barbara_

_Ruof erom syad. Ouy nac od ti, Eitra. - Zatanna_

"Don't call me Artie," Artemis grumbled. "Seriously, who came up with that stupid nickname?"

_What did you answer for question eight on the chem quiz? - Bette Kane_

Artemis rolled her eyes. If Bette really needed chemistry help, why wasn't she asking the dork who was putting her up to texting Artemis in the first place?

_To my beloved Artemis: Four texting friends. - Anonymous W_

She wondered if Wally knew that even though he was signing himself as "Anonymous W," it still showed "Wallace West" on the caller ID. So the mysterious signature was entirely useless.

As she moved to put her glittering quiver of arrows back into the closet, something else made itself known with a loud _CRUNCH_. Startled, she yanked the quiver backward, falling onto her rear from her momentum.

Sitting in the closet was a crushed pile of crumbs. Well, they had probably been baguettes.

_To my beloved Artemis: Three scrunched baguettes._

Artemis wondered if she should be disturbed that her boyfriend knew her so well.

That's when her comm went off. Surprised, she picked the device up from her bedside table and switched it on before popping it into her ear. "This is Artemis."

 _Hey, Artemis_ , came the awfully cheerful sounding voice of Robin. _I was wondering if it would be cool for you to swing by the Cave in the next...say...two minutes?_

Artemis blinked. "Uh, sure. Why?"

 _No reason_ , he snickered. _Seeya in a few!_

A short beep revealed that the acrobat had hung up.

Artemis blinked, lowering her finger from the comm. This should be amusing.

Breakfast forgotten, she quickly suited up and slid out of her window, leaping down to the alleyway below and slipping into the phone booth that was the zeta entrance.

_Recognized: Artemis B06_

"Robin?" Artemis questioned as her body reformed. "What is it?" She stopped a couple feet from the zeta entrance, raising an eyebrow at her little greeting party.

Robin and Zatanna stood in the middle of the room, their arms wrapped together with a black ribbon. Zatanna's face was a scarlet red, but the younger boy seemed completely unconcerned with the somewhat awkward situation. In fact, he seemed almost happy, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet with a satisfied smile on his face.

_To my beloved Artemis: Two lover birds._

"This isn't what it looks like, I swear," Zatanna cried.

The Boy Wonder skipped happily up to the archer despite the black ribbon linking him to the magician. "Hiya, Artemis," he crowed, grinning trollishly at her. "Something's waiting for you in the kitchen. Merry Christmas!"

And without another word, he dashed off down the hallway, dragging a blushing and helpless Zatanna along with him.

Artemis shook her head slowly. Boys were so oblivious.

It took less than a minute for her to reach the kitchen area. But what she saw was worth staring at for hours.

So this was what Grayson—or rather, Robin—had been talking about. (It didn't take a genius to make the connection between the two trolls. Artemis was mentally kicking herself for not figuring it out sooner.)

A potted tree sat in the middle of the room, littered with pear cores. A certain speedster had been tied to the branches, kicking and struggling against his bonds with a note taped to his forehead.

_To Artemis: A Wally in a bare tree._

"That's what you get for messing with a Bat," Artemis called with a smirk.

Wally jumped at the sound of Artemis's voice, jerking his head around with wide eyes as he saw her in the doorway. His struggles ceased as he gave her a sheepish grin. "Oh, hi, Artemis. Fancy meeting you here."

"This is the Cave, bonehead."

"Oh. Would you look at that. It _is_ the Cave... Help me down?"

Artemis cocked her head to the side, considering the pouting boy. "You know, that note isn't quite accurate," she mused, reaching up to pull the paper off of her boyfriend's forehead. She ignored the quiet wince as the duct tape peeled off of his skin, grabbing a pen from the counter and quickly scribbling something down. She held it up for Wally to see.

_To Artemis: A Baywatch in a bare tree._

Wally scowled. "Hilarious."

—O—

 _...Eight cartons milking_  
 _Seven fish a-floating_  
_Six songs a-playing_  
 _Five golden arrows_  
_Four texting friends_  
 _Three French baguettes_  
_Two lover birds_  
 _And a Baywatch in a bare tree_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See if you can name all those 1D songs ;)


	10. The Ninth Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted from Fanfiction.net.
> 
> Original publish date: 12-22-14
> 
> Here are the 1D songs in the order they appeared in yesterday's chapter: "What Makes You Beautiful," "Live While We're Young," "One Thing," "Story Of My Life," "Kiss You," and "Best Song Ever."

_On the ninth day of Christmas  
My boyfriend gave to me..._

—O—

_Gotham City  
December 22, 09:00_

This time Artemis awoke to an unfamiliar ringing sound. She scowled, keeping her eyes stubbornly shut. She'd hidden that stupid alarm clock underneath all of her unmentionables in her sock drawer. There was no way Wally had found it and set the stupid thing up again.

She waited for it to stop, but the ringing persisted. It sounded an awful lot like...her phone?

She reluctantly cracked one eye open, squinting at the ringing device on the table.

Groaning, she reached out and punched buttons until it finally stopped. Groggily, she checked the time: 9am. Well, at least it wasn't too early this time.

A fizzing sound that she hadn't noticed before suddenly became clear in the silence. She propped herself up on an elbow, craning her neck to see over the fishbowl. Planted on a coaster on the other side was a glass of...Sprite? Nine sweetheart candies were floating around inside, twirling in the carbonated bubbles like they were performing a ballet.

_To my beloved Artemis: Nine sweethearts dancing._

Wally must really be getting desperate if he came up with something as stupid as that.

But she had to admit, it did look kinda cool...

Swinging her feet out of bed, she stretched her toes, expecting to hit the floor. However, her foot came in contact with something plastic instead of the familiar flat panels. Whatever she'd kicked toppled to the ground, bouncing hollowly on the wooden floor before stuttering to a stop.

Retracting her feet, she peered over the edge of the bed.

Eight milk cartons were strung out around her bed, forming a plastic perimeter. Thankfully, they appeared empty as the one she had knocked over hadn't formed a white or otherwise puddle on the ground.

_To my beloved Artemis: Eight cartons (not) milking._

Empty milk cartons? Great idea, Wally.

The other glass on her bedside table, however, was not empty. Goldfish crackers bobbed gently on the surface of the water, soggy smiles never faltering.

_To my beloved Artemis: Seven fish a-floating._

And that's when her phone started to ring again. She absentmindedly realized that it had no right to be ringing. As a rule, she kept her phone on vibrate. There were just too many situations that could come up where a ringing phone would guarantee her death—during missions, that is. And she never ever set alarms, morning or otherwise.

And apparently this ringtone had words.

 _Deck the cave with sprigs of holly_  
 _Troll la la la la la la la la_  
_Tis the season, don't be naughty_  
 _Troll la la la la la la la la_

 _Don we now spandex apparel_  
 _Troll la la la la la la la la_  
_Bug Artemis with your carols_  
 _Troll la la la la la la la la_

She rolled her eyes. Robin got that right. What a perfect song for the little troll. The chords changed and another popular Christmas tune started up in the other's place.

 _Up on the rooftops the villains pause_  
 _"Dang, that devil archer spawn!"_  
_Over the chimneys with lots of noise_  
 _Stealing the little ones' Christmas toys_

"You had better be talking about the villains, Wally," Artemis growled. Then the song changed again:

 _Racing through Star City_  
 _In an open Arrow car_  
_Through the stores and streets_  
 _Tearing through the bars_

"Whatever sick joke this is, it's not funny!" Artemis yelled.

 _Hark, hear the yells_  
 _Harsh, calling yells_  
_Now echoing_  
 _Warnings they bring_  
_Be on alert_  
 _People get hurt_  
_All is not well_  
 _Sing we, "Oh well!"_

How did Wally...? Whatever, that was a weird one.

 _We four boys of old partner lore_  
 _Bearing training, seen lots of gore_  
_Gotham, Central, Star, and ocean_  
 _Ready for what's in store_

Okay, how did Wally pull Robin, Aqualad, _and_ Red Arrow into this? They didn't make a bad quartet... But whatever Wally was doing for them in exchange...well, Artemis wanted all the juicy details.

 _Ominous night_  
 _Dark Gotham night_  
_All's not calm_  
 _Life's a fight_  
_Round our vigil, patrolling in style_  
 _Holey socks smell not tender or mild_  
_Parkour all through the night_  
 _Parkour all through the night_

...Well, that one was actually accurate.

As the phone finally fell silent, a text lit up the screen: _To my beloved Artemis: Six songs a-playing._

And that meant...

Artemis rolled out of bed, carefully stepping over the milk cartons surrounding the bed frame.

Trotting to the closet, she had to admit that she was curious as to what Wally was going to do now that all her arrows were gone. Would he actually dare...?

Upon opening the closet, she had her answer: five of Ollie's arrows—painted gold, of course—were tied in a bundle beside her full quiver.

_To my beloved Artemis: Five golden arrows._

She wondered how long it would take her mentor to realize he was missing several arrows. Maybe a month, maybe tomorrow, maybe never. She could never tell with Ollie.

The screen of her phone lit up. Here we go...

_CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS TIME IS NEAR. TIME FOR TOYS AND TIME FOR CHEER. WE'VE BEEN GOOD, BUT WE CAN'T LAST. HURRY, CHRISTMAS, HURRY FAST... - RJG_

Artemis snorted. Sure, if Richard Grayson was a total angel this year, she was Cupid. And what was with him and the caps lock?

_Want a plane that loops the loop... - Barbara_

"What?" Artemis muttered.

_Em, I tnaw a aluh pooh... - Zatanna_

Oh dear.

_We can hardly stand the wait, please, Christmas, don't be late. (Dick's idea.) - Bette Kane_

Great. Now her classmates had built up a conspiracy against her. She really shouldn't have been surprised that it was Dick's idea. Scratch that: she shouldn't have been surprised that it was _Robin's_ idea. Apparently, that boy had a case against her in both identities...

_To my beloved Artemis: Four texting friends. - Anonymous W_

Wow. Six out of nine presents found and she hadn't even stepped out of her room yet. She glanced up; cue face palm. Make that seven out of nine presents.

Three baguettes dangled from a ribbon from the doorframe of her bedroom.

_To my beloved Artemis: Three French baguettes._

She was really starting to hate bread. Sighing, she reached up and pulled the bread down from the ceiling, tucking it under one arm as she made her way toward the kitchen.

A murmur sounded through the silent house, and Artemis froze: voices were coming from the living room. Taking a few careful steps forward, she strained her ears to hear what was being said:

"Ugh, stop shoving!" came a quiet voice around the corner.

"Sorry," another hissed back. "This isn't exactly comfortable for me either, you know."

The first one grunted in return. "I'm untying as fast as I can."

"Well, can't you go a little faster?"

"I'm trying! Do you realize how hard this is with my arms mummified?"

"I don't care! Get us out of here!"

"Okay, okay. I've almost got it. Stop wiggling!"

Artemis blinked. She knew those voices. She poked her head around the corner. What she saw was a sight she wouldn't soon forget.

Sitting on the floor of the living room were two certain classmates of hers: Richard Grayson and Barbara Gordon. A long green ribbon had been wrapped repeatedly around their upper bodies, securing them firmly back-to-back as Dick's nimble fingers fumbled with the giant bow. Said bow had been supplemented by several layers of knots, which explained why the Boy Wonder hadn't picked his way out already.

_To my beloved Artemis: Two lover birds._

Deciding it was time to make her appearance known, Artemis stepped around the corner. "Dick? Barbara? What are you doing here?"

The two teens jumped guiltily, cheeks turning beet red as they jerked their heads in her direction.

"Um...hi, Artemis," Barbara laughed nervously. "What's up?"

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "Baguettes, apparently. Why?"

Barbara blinked. "Okay. Uh, no reason."

"Hey, Artemis," Dick grumbled. "Mind telling your boyfriend to _quit_ pairing me up with people?"

Artemis smirked. "You tell him to stop sending French bread."

Dick groaned. "At least help us out of this stuff."

"Please," Barbara added.

Artemis considered the question. "Maybe. Gotta see something first."

Ignoring their protests, she sauntered out of the room just as the doorbell rang.

Artemis rolled her eyes, continuing down the hallway—she'd been going for the door anyway. Upon opening it, a potted tree stood just outside. Only instead of green pears (or pear cores) dangling from the branches, there were fuzzy, orange and pink balls. Otherwise known as: peaches. And instead of a red and black clad teenager, there was a stuffed, red-breasted robin toy.

_To my beloved Artemis: A robin in a peach tree._

Grinning, she slipped back into the living room. "I see you escaped tree duty today, Bird Boy."

Grayson glared at her. "Oh, shut up."

—O—

... _Nine sweethearts dancing_  
 _Eight cartons milking  
_ _Seven fish a swimming_  
 _Six songs a-playing  
_ _Five golden arrows  
__Four texting friends  
_ _Three French baguettes  
__Two lover birds  
_ _And a robin in a peach tree_


	11. The Tenth Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted from Fanfiction.net.
> 
> Original publish date: 12-23-14
> 
> Yesterday's songs in the order they appeared are: "Deck The Halls," "Up On The Rooftops," "Dashing Through The Snow," "Carol Of The Bells," "We Three Kings," and "Silent Night"!

_On the tenth day of Christmas  
My boyfriend gave to me..._

—O—

_Gotham City  
December 23, 9:59_

This time, Artemis woke up on her own. Her eyes fluttered open, and she was pleasantly surprised that no alarm had decided to disturb her beauty sleep with its infernal beeping.

As her vision cleared, she became aware of a new addition to the jumbled mess that was beginning to form on her bedside table.

It was...a picture frame. And inside the picture frame was a picture of...an airborne Justice League?

Suddenly awake, she swiped the frame off of the table, quickly examining the photograph. All of the League members present appeared to be suspended in the air.

That's when she noticed the caption: _To my beloved Artemis: Ten Leaguers leaping._

Artemis blinked slowly. She counted off on her fingers from left to right: Flash (as expected), Green Arrow, Black Canary, Superman, Captain Marvel (oh, Billy), Zatanna, Rocket, Icon (probably convinced by Rocket), Green Lantern (Hal), and Batman. She had to double check that last one. And that's when she realized he was merely standing there glaring at the camera. She relaxed—all was still normal. Although that made only nine Leaguers. Oops.

A familiar fizzing sound came to her attention, and she glanced over the wooden picture frame to see a glass of pop on the table, nine sweetheart candies whirling around in the bubbles.

_To my beloved Artemis: Nine sweethearts dancing._

Poking her head over the edge of her bed, she prepared for the milk carton barricade. Except the floor of her room was startlingly blank. Her eyebrows furrowed. What...?

Then she noticed the ribbon sticking out from under the bed. Tentatively, she reached out, carefully tugging whatever it was out into the open.

At the end of the ribbon was a bundle of...lollipops. Eight giant, rainbow lollipops with foot long pink sticks.

_To my beloved Artemis: Eight pops for licking._

Oh goody. Her waistline was doomed.

Tilting her head up and pushing the fishbowl and Sprite glass to the side—her bedside table was getting awfully full—she spotted the next glass of water with the Goldfish crackers on the surface.

_To my beloved Artemis: Seven fish a-floating._

Well, that was fast. Apparently Wally had decided to make it easier for her these last few days.

Wait a sec... How was he getting all this stuff into her room?

Before the far from turbing thought could really take hold, she realized that the water glass appeared to be balancing on a white piece of paper—an envelope.

Lifting the glass, she pulled the envelope from underneath, raising an eyebrow at what had been scribbled on the back: _To my beloved Artemis: Six bucks for savings._

Sure enough, upon opening the envelope, six dollar bills fell out onto the bed, the mini George Washingtons seeming to stare up at her with their inky green eyes.

Wally must have finally run out of songs. She was almost disappointed. Almost.

Wow. She'd found half of her gifts without even leaving the comfort of her own bed. She could get used to this. At this rate, she would be an extreme treasure hunter by Christmas.

She glanced at the clock: 9:16am. She probably should get up...

With a groan, she pushed herself off the bed, staggering slightly as her bare feet hit the cold floor.

Resigned to the pattern, she dragged herself over to the closet, yanking the door open almost drunkenly.

Another bundle of Ollie's golden arrows had joined the sparkling pile on top of all her old sweaters.

_To my beloved Artemis: Five golden arrows._

Her mentor had yet to mention any lost arrows on their weekly patrols. Oh well, he probably had thousands of the things anyway, being a billionaire and all.

Her phone buzzed four times. And then it buzzed again. Let the craziness commence.

_I SAY HEY, I'LL BE GONE TODAY... - RJG_

_But I'll be back from around the way... - Barbara_

"Not again," Artemis groaned.

_Ti smees ekil erehwyreve I og, eht erom I ees eht ssel I wonk... - Zatanna_

_But I know, one thing: and that's I love you. (No, not really. I just like you.) I know one thing: and that's I love you. - Bette Kane_

...That was more than strange. Was this Robin's way of payback at Wally...? Just the thought of Wally reading this was enough to bring a smile to her lips. Oh, he would get mad.

Why did Robin pick a Chipmunks song? Who knows. Maybe his other persona was nicknamed "The Flying Squirrel."

_To my beloved Artemis: Four texting friends. - Anonymous W_

Lifting herself from her crouched position, she wandered toward the kitchen, eyes scanning the counters for a fresh bundle of French bread among the rather crunchy loaves.

Nothing presented itself.

It took her several minutes to find (and count) that there was, in fact, no new baguettes in the kitchen.

So, Wally had been consistent with this one from the start, and suddenly...he stopped?

And that's when she found it.

Hidden among the giant loaves, three French fries lay on the stained counter, looking awfully tiny surrounded by all the baguettes.

_To my beloved Artemis: Three French fries._

"Oh, Wally," Artemis sighed.

The doorbell rang.

Artemis considered the door across the room curiously. Since her boyfriend had finally broken one of his patterns, did that mean he'd broken this one too?

"I've got it, Mom!" she called down the hall. She opened the door just enough for her to see who was on the other side.

Outside stood two very familiar—but very unexpected—people.

Artemis blinked. "Uh...hi, Mr. and Mrs. Allen. What are you doing here?"

She inwardly winced at how abrupt that sounded.

Barry shifted uncomfortably while Iris gave her a small grin. Iris opened her mouth to explain when Artemis noticed their wrists: a deep blue ribbon tied their two hands together, with the following note attached: _To my beloved Artemis: Two lover birds._

"Never mind," Artemis snorted. "You don't need to explain."

"Artemis?" her mother called. "Who is there?"

Realizing that she was blocking the doorway, Artemis quickly stepped back, pulling the door farther into the room so her mom had a clear view of the visitors.

Barry rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck. "Uh, hi, Mrs. Crock. I'm Barry Allen—Wally's uncle?"

"And I'm Iris West-Allen," Iris greeted, smiling kindly at the woman. "Pleasure to meet you."

The ex-con seemed to overcome her slight surprise. "Likewise," she agreed. "Won't you please come inside? I'm sure there is much to discuss considering my daughter and your nephew are a couple."

"Mom!" Artemis protested, her cheeks burning furiously.

"Thanks for the offer," Iris said, "but we just stopped by to say 'hi.' We still have some last minute errands to run, what with Christmas and all."

"Of course," Artemis's mother agreed. "One of those 'snuck up on you' moments?"

Iris turned a baleful glance at her sheepish looking husband. "Technically, _I'm_ done with my shopping. This bozo, on the other hand..."

Barry grinned ruefully. "It just kinda slipped my mind."

"Anyway, it was wonderful meeting you," Iris said with a smile. "Wally's told us so much about you. Both of you," she added, glancing in Artemis's direction. "But we really must be going. See you soon?"

"Indeed," the ex-con said with a smile. "Anytime."

Artemis closed the door as the couple left, only managing not to snicker at the utterly bewildered look on the Flash's face by her own mortification. Barry probably had never guessed that his nephew would drag him into this crazy mess.

She smirked. At least this thing had its silver linings.

"And that leaves one thing," she muttered, turning back to her room.

"What was that?" her mother asked.

"Nothing," Artemis said, striding down the hall. "Just have to check on something."

Arriving at her room, she frowned in confusion. The bedroom door was closed. She hadn't closed it when she left. And that could only mean one thing: Wally.

Upon opening the door, an unfortunately familiar sight greeted her eyes: a tree strung with peaches with a stuffed robin in the branches. She kind of missed a certain acrobat's furious little face up there...

_To my beloved Artemis: A robin in a peach tree._

That's when it hit her. It was the same tree everyday. So how did Wally manage to pick it up again after she found it every single time? Especially since now it was in her room.

Her eyes narrowed. No. She didn't want to know.

—O—

_...Ten Leaguers leaping_  
_Nine sweethearts dancing_  
_Eight pops for licking_  
_Seven fish a-floating_  
_Six bucks for savings_  
_Five golden arrows_  
_Four texting friends_  
_Three French fries_  
_Two lover birds_  
_And a robin in a peach tree_


	12. The Eleventh Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted from Fanfiction.net.
> 
> Original publish date: 12-24-14

_On the eleventh day of Christmas  
My boyfriend gave to me..._

—O—

_Gotham City  
December 24, 11:05_

"Come on, come on," Artemis muttered, shoving clothes and golden arrows aside. "Where'd it go?"

She was late; late for the second-to-last patrol of the year in Star City with her mentor. And she couldn't find her stupid quiver!

Correction: she couldn't find her stupid, distinctly _not-golden_ quiver.

"Mom!" she called in exasperation. "You wouldn't happen to know..." She trailed off at the sight of her mother sitting in the doorway, a green quiver raised in her right hand.

The woman raised an eyebrow, a smile poking at the corners of her mouth. "Your quiver?"

Artemis grinned, trotting over and pecking her mother on the cheek as she accepted the arrows. "You're a lifesaver."

Within moments, she was dressed and ready to go, slipping through the zeta tube for Star City.

_Recognized: Artemis B06._

"Well, look who finally decided to show up!" Ollie called cheerfully as she stepped from the rapidly fading light. "For a second, I thought you'd forgotten."

"Couldn't find my quiver," Artemis said shortly. "You ready?"

Ollie raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you that? But yes, I am. Let's go."

They swung up onto the nearest rooftop, starting in relative silence on their usual patrol route.

"By the way," Ollie said as he crested a chimney, "you wouldn't happen to be missing any arrows, would you?"

Artemis resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Finally, Ollie. "No. Why?"

Ollie frowned. "I'm missing eleven from my spare quiver, and I can't for the life of me figure out what happened to them."

Artemis shrugged. "Well, mine are all present and accounted for." _And gold..._

There was a moment of silence.

"I just don't understand it," Ollie muttered. "How did I just lose eleven arrows?"

"I wouldn't know," Artemis muttered.

Three shoplifters, two muggings, and a jaywalker later, the two archers found themselves sitting on another rooftop, munching on McDonald's.

"After all," Ollie had said. "A few extra calories doesn't go amiss in this line of work. Besides," he added as Artemis glared at him. "You'll work it all off in about ten minutes anyway."

So there they sat, chewing on cheeseburgers and French fries (Artemis shuddered when Ollie pulled them out of the bag) and slurping chocolate shakes. It would probably take more then ten minutes to burn all this fat. But the looks on the employees' faces when they'd walked into the restaurant in full costume was worth every pound.

Suddenly, a roar echoed down the street, followed by a second, and a third, and a fourth, and...

She stopped counting.

Artemis and Ollie leapt to their feet, simultaneously trotting to the edge of the rooftop to get a better look at the street below.

"What is it?" Artemis demanded, eyes searching for aliens, monsters, and giant plants.

"Sports car," Ollie said quietly.

Artemis turned on him. "What?"

"Sports car," he repeated, pointing down the street. "Check it out."

At first, Artemis couldn't see anything. And then, a bright red Viper came into view, parading in front of the building on which the archers were perched. She stared in awe as Viper, after Viper, after Viper turned the corner, engines growling loudly as they weaved in a multicolored stream through the crowded streets.

"Well, there's something you don't see every day," Green Arrow muttered beside her.

Blinking out of her daze as the last one finally passed the building they stood on, Artemis scowled. "I have a theory," she grumbled.

It only took only a moment to dig her phone out of her quiver.

 _1 New Text_ , the screen proclaimed. _To my beloved Artemis: Eleven Vipers viping._

She glared at the screen. "Well, maybe I'd appreciate it more if I actually got to keep them!" she growled.

"What?" Ollie asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Nothing," she sighed. "Come on, let's keep going."

But when she made to put her phone away, another notification popped up on her screen. Artemis gave it a quick glance: it was a photo.

Quickly bringing the phone up so she could use both hands, she opened the attachment.

_To my beloved Artemis: Ten Leaguers leaping._

She snorted. It was the same exact picture from yesterday. Wait...no, it wasn't. At the very end of the line, Batman had been moved so he was floating two feet off the ground, still stiff and straight as a board. It almost looked like he'd gained rocket power, or something...

Even Photoshop had its limits in the hands of the user, apparently. Robin probably hadn't done this one.

And just like that, five more messages appeared on her screen, all proclaiming attachments of photos or videos. "Oh crap," she muttered.

"What?" Ollie demanded. "What is it?"

Artemis shook her head slowly. "My idiot boyfriend figured out how to get me on patrol."

Ollie frowned. "What?"

Artemis ignored him as she opened the first attachment: it was a video. A video of a glass of Sprite with nine bubbly sweethearts hopping around, to be precise. _To my beloved Artemis: Nine sweethearts dancing._

It didn't take a genius to know what the rest of the photos were.

Eight lollipops, seven Goldfish in a water glass, and a five and a one dollar bill. ( _To my beloved Artemis: Eight pops for licking, seven fish a-floating, and six bucks for savings._ )

As she opened the text she knew to hold five golden arrows, Ollie peeked over her shoulder.

"Hey," Ollie cried, "those are mine!"

Artemis pointed at the photo's caption: _To my beloved Artemis: Five golden arrows._ "Not anymore."

Four more texts appeared on her screen.

_WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS... - RJG_

_We wish you a Merry Christmas... - Barbara_

_Ew hsiw uoy a Yrrem Samtsirhc... - Zatanna_

_And a Happy New Year! - Bette Kane_

_To my beloved Artemis: Four texting friends. (Note: Don't worry, all the actual presents are in your room.) - Anonymous W_

"Whoopee," Artemis muttered. "Just what I wanted on Christmas Eve: a room to clean."

She snatched three French fries from one of the red containers, waving them in the air. "And don't even think about it, Wally!" she yelled to no one.

Ollie stared at her like she was Batcrazy—that is to say, freakishly paranoid. "Um...you ready to go?" he asked.

Artemis glared at her phone, daring it to ring again. It didn't.

"Yes," she snapped in satisfaction, slipping the phone back into her quiver.

Several hours later, Artemis staggered back into her bedroom, exhausted, but satisfied. The thrill of the chase never ceased to...well...thrill her.

The good feeling immediately faded away as she looked up from the floor and saw various random "presents" strewn around the room. The sweethearts were no longer dancing, the Goldfish had disintegrated, and a brand new picture of ten leaping Leaguers had joined the other junk on the bedside table. She groaned aloud, shoving the pile of lollipops off her bed—they luckily didn't shatter—and collapsing on the mattress.

Something squishy and cold pressed into her face. She jerked up, spitting pieces of cold potato out of her mouth. Three crushed fries were ground into her pillow.

_To my beloved Artemis: Three French fries._

Before she could scream in rage and frustration, the latch on her window clicked quietly.

Artemis was immediately on her feet. She backed up carefully, instinctively slipping an arrow from the quiver still strapped on her back and picking her bow up from the ground. She nocked the arrow to the bowstring, drawing it back halfway in preparation to shoot.

The window whooshed open, the curtains fluttering to the side as a blast of cold December air and snow swirled through the room. A familiar shaggy-headed outline became visible in the open window.

Artemis lowered her bow slightly, fingers still tense on the string. "Jade?" she asked in surprise. "What are _you_ doing here?"

Her sister pulled the Cheshire mask from her face, giving her sister a bored smile. "Oh, you know, it's the holiday. I felt obligated to at least say 'hello' to my family."

Artemis's eyes narrowed, her hand flexing around her bow. "And since when has Christmas ever mattered to you in the past few years?"

Jade lazily held up her hands in a gesture of surrender. "Oh, fine, you caught me. I'm here because someone asked me to be here."

Artemis's eyes widened. "No way. _WALLY_?!"

Jade smirked, raising an eyebrow at her sister. "Really? You seriously think that half-baked idiot convinced ME to come here? I don't think so, darling. No, someone else politely asked me to accompany him."

She turned to look out the window. "Oh, stop lurking in the shadows like a Bat, and get in here, Arrow."

Artemis stared in utter shock as none other than Roy Harper climbed into the bedroom. A green and gold-striped ribbon was loosely tied around his wrist, the other end disappearing under Cheshire's wide sleeves (presumably tied to her wrist).

_To my beloved Artemis: Two lover birds._

Artemis ogled at them. "You two are a _couple_?!" she shrieked.

A fierce red blush overcame Roy's face as Jade gave her a cocky smile—how many different smiles did her sister _have_?

"Oh, maybe," Jade oozed.

"And did you ever think about _telling_ me?!" Artemis cried. "Does Mom even _know_? I thought you were just messing with me when you kissed him last year!"

Jade cocked her head demurely to the side. "What can I say, it's fun to mess with your head. And no, not really. But you won't say anything, will you Artie?"

Artemis was in too much shock to correct the nickname.

Jade sighed. "Well, seeing as you're not going to do anything other than stare, I suppose we should be going. Come along, Arrow. We've got better things to do."

She gave him a smile with highly questionable intentions, slipping silently out of the window with a little more movement then necessary.

Red Arrow blinked. "Uh, yeah." He rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck. Artemis had never seen him look so flustered. "The thing is—

"You know what?" Artemis interrupted. "I don't even wanna know." It seemed like she had been saying that a lot lately...

Roy nodded several times. "Right. Right. Um...seeya." His climb out of the window was anything but graceful.

Artemis plopped down dazedly on her bed. What had just happened?

A startled shout echoed outside and Artemis blinked back her shock, running to the window and peering outside.

Roy and Jade were gone, and in their place was a peach tree with a stuffed robin sitting primly amongst the fuzzy, pink orbs.

_To my beloved Artemis: A robin in a peach tree._

Artemis slowly shook her head, oblivious to the frigid air swirling around her. This just kept getting weirder and weirder...

—O—

 _...Eleven Vipers viping_  
 _Ten Leaguers leaping_  
_Nine sweethearts dancing_  
 _Eight pops for licking_  
_Seven fish a-floating_  
 _Six bucks for savings_  
_Five golden arrows_  
 _Four texting friends_  
_Three French fries_  
 _Two lover birds_  
_And a robin in a peach tree_


	13. The Twelfth Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted from Fanfiction.net.
> 
> Original publish date: 12-25-14

_On the twelfth day of Christmas  
My boyfriend gave to me..._

—O—

_Gotham City  
December 25, 12:17_

The day had started out normally enough. Breakfast—a traditional Vietnamese Christmas casserole—had been served at 9:30am. Then had been the opening of the (admittedly few) gifts, before going on to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" (which Artemis had borrowed from the video store yesterday at her mom's insistence) because apparently all families traditionally watched it on Christmas Day. Since she had yet to fact check that, she'd agreed. Anything to make her mom happy.

Around three-quarters of the way through (George had just climbed onto the bridge) her mother took the remote and paused it.

Artemis fought back a snort of laughter at the sight of George Bailey suspended in the air halfway over the bridge railings.

"Do you smell something?" her mom asked suddenly, effectively drawing Artemis's attention away from the screen.

Artemis sniffed the air tentatively, frowning as an unexpected scent filled her nostrils. "Is something...burning?"

"One moment, I will check," her mother said, wheeling out of the room.

For a moment, there was only the sound of squeaking floorboards. Then, a soft cry of surprise.

Artemis leapt to her feet, dashing madly for the kitchen as the fire alarm started to blare. "Mom?" she cried, barreling into the room. "Mom, are you okay?"

She stopped at the sight of her mother sitting in front of the open—and apparently running—oven which was in the process of belching black smoke into the small room.

"Artemis!" her mother cried, coughing at the acrid smoke and yellowish tongues of flame emanating from the barely visible opening. "What happened here?"

Overcoming her shock, Artemis raised the collar of her shirt over her nose and mouth, gesturing at her mother to do the same as she quickly pushed the wheelchair out of the room.

Artemis switched off the oven, snatching the fire extinguisher from the corner and blasting the flickering flames until long after the fire had been extinguished.

Coughing and choking, she jerked open the window, using a nearby dish towel to fan the suffocating ashes and white chemicals outside.

It still took maybe ten minutes for the fire alarm finally shut up; and not before they'd received several panicked calls from their neighbors.

Cautiously, she peeked into the still smoking oven. Through the ash still clinging to the walls, she could see a dozen blackened something-or-others sitting in a pan on the top rack.

And that's when she noticed the holey, soggy piece of paper barely dangling by a half-melted piece of tape from the oven door.

It took a moment of squinting (most of the letters had been at least partially burned through) but she finally managed to read the mangled writing: _To my beloved Artemis: Twelve drumsticks roasting._

Uh, how about "Twelve drumsticks burning"?

"Really, Wally?" she muttered. "This is your glorious ending?"

Shaking her head as, for the umpteenth time, she questioned her boyfriend's sanity, she stalked out of the kitchen.

"Artemis?" her mother asked, alarm still on her face. "Is it all right? Are you hurt?"

"It's fine, Mom," Artemis sighed. "The fire's out, and from what I can tell nothing outside the oven got burned. And I'm okay," she added quickly as the woman grabbed her hands to check for burns. "Not even a pink spot."

After a few moments, her mother nodded, satisfied. "Very well. I suppose I'd better clean up the inside of the oven."

"I'll help," Artemis promised. "Just one sec, let me check something."

As her mother rolled into the thankfully intact kitchen, Artemis stomped into the living room, plucking her phone from her pocket with the intent of giving her boyfriend a serious chewing out for nearly burning down their apartment.

Suddenly, the old computer in the corner suddenly lit up, notification after notification spilling onto the screen. That had never happened before.

"What in the world?" Artemis cried, moving over to the seemingly malfunctioning device. She blinked. People were trying to...Skype her?

She reached out and grabbed the mouse, intending to close the windows. It was Christmas, why were a bunch of random people suddenly wanting to video chat? And then, all the requests accepted.

"Hi, Artemis!" bellowed nearly a dozen different voices. "Merry Christmas!"

Artemis took an involuntary step backward at the sheer volume of them all. "Um...Merry Christmas to you, too." Her cheeks flushed as she realized she was in her red and green reindeer sweatpants and white tank top with Santa's laughing face on the front—hey, it was Christmas, she had every right to stay in her jammies.

She quickly pulled out the desk chair and carefully eased herself onto the seat as the springs squealed, slouching slightly in an attempt to hide the white beard and rosy cheeks plastered on her front.

"Soooo, what gave you all the urge to suddenly Skype me?" Artemis said quickly, hoping people hadn't been paying attention to what she was wearing. "Wait, don't answer that. Everybody freeze."

Artemis did a quick head count: Zatanna, Dick, Raquel, Barbara, Conner and M'gann, Iris and Barry, Garfield, and Ollie and Dinah.

Eleven people exactly.

A text message appeared on the phone still in her hand: _To my beloved Artemis: Eleven skypers Skyping._ Perfect.

"Ooh, ooh, Artemis Artemis Artemis!" came a familiar excited voice.

She glanced curiously at one of the windows where a hyperactive little 8-year-old appeared to be bouncing up and down on his chair. "Uh, hey, Garfield. What's up?"

"My mom just gave me an external camera for our computer!" Garfield crowed excitedly, giving her a huge grin. "Now I can talk to y'all all the time!"

Artemis had to smile at his enthusiasm. "That's great." But then, she realized something else. "Gar, how'd you get my email address?"

The boy stopped bouncing. "Oh. Um..."

"So what have you been up to, girl?" Zatanna interjected. "Having a good Christmas?"

Artemis scowled. "Define 'good Christmas.' But yeah, so far." She decided not to mention her boyfriend's utterly failed attempt at cooking just moments before.

"Just wanted to say 'hi' and 'Merry Christmas!'" Iris said kindly.

"We won't keep you long," Dinah added.

The others chorused their well wishes, and Artemis hastily returned them.

"So what are you up to later today?" Grayson asked casually, a twinkle in his blue eyes.

Artemis shrugged. "Oh, nothing much. I..." She trailed off as a phantom breeze blew through the room. "I have to let you go. Bye, guys, and Merry Christmas!"

She waited for their goodbyes and holiday cheer to trail off, then quit the link.

Narrowing her eyes, she turned to face the remainder of the tiny living room.

A new picture frame sat on the arm of the couch. Sighing, she reached over plucked it off, half-heartedly examining the photo. Same crazy picture of the Justice League at its weirdest, only this time, PlasticMan had been pasted in instead of Batman.

_To my beloved Artemis: Ten Leaguers leaping._

Artemis smirked. At least now there were actually ten Leaguers in the air.

"Um, Artemis?" her mother called suddenly behind her. "What are these?"

Artemis glanced up from the picture, resisting the urge to groan at the items in her mother's hands.

In the first one was a glass of soda. Nine sweethearts did their little thing amongst the bubbles. _To my beloved Artemis: Nine sweethearts dancing._

In her other hand was a bouquet of giant red lollipops. _To my beloved Artemis: Eight pops for licking._

Artemis sighed, getting to her feet. "I'll get them, Mom."

"Shouldn't you be getting ready to go to the Cave?" the woman asked as Artemis accepted the items from her hands.

Artemis blinked. Then groaned, only resisting the urge to face palm by the fact that both of her hands were full. "I totally forgot! I'll get dressed right now."

She turned and hastened down the hall to her room. She had totally forgotten about the plan for the whole team to spend half of Christmas Day at the Cave in order that the team members who lived there and didn't have families—this year, M'gann and Zatanna (Martian Manhunter had been called away on an off world mission, and the magician still chose to hang out at Mount Justice rather than the Watchtower despite her League status)—could join in the fun.

As Artemis placed the lollipops and the soda on the floor and bedside table respectively, she noticed a new glass of water had joined the junk on said bedside table. (She actually had been dumping out the glasses of water and Goldfish to make room for everything.) Seven Goldfish crackers bobbed happily in the waves.

_To my beloved Artemis: Seven fish a-floating._

A familiar white envelope had found its way on her pillow.

_To my beloved Artemis: Six bucks for savings._

Only, a ten dollar bill fluttered out, a white slip of paper spinning amongst the green.

 _Ran out of fives and ones_ , the note said. _Already collected my change._

Artemis took a deep breath, forcing herself to keep her cool. Her meager savings happened to be hidden in a place that Wally—and everyone else—had no business ever looking through.

Taking several deep breaths, she slowly swiveled toward the closet. Studying it apprehensively for a moment or two, she walked toward it, yanking open the door and staring at the shimmering things at her feet.

_To my beloved Artemis: Five golden arrows._

Picking up the newest pile, she frowned in confusion. These arrows weren't hers or Ollie's. She rotated them in her hands, searching for any clue as to their owner, when a flash of red caught her eye. There: Wally had missed a small sliver on the shaft when he'd painted the,. And apparently, the original color was red.

Only one person came to mind who had red arrows.

She carefully put the arrows back, almost afraid they'd explode as she jumped to her feet, swiftly shutting the closet door and backing away.

"Mom, I'm headed for the Cave now!" she called, quickly pulling on a pair of skinny jeans and a jacket over her white tank top.

"Okay, Artemis," her mother cried back. "Take care of yourself. You will be home for dinner, yes?"

Artemis stepped out of her room, turning to the woman in the hall and giving her a hug. "Of course, Mom. Merry Christmas." She jerked as she realized something. "Oh, the oven! I'm sorry, I'll go fix that right—"

"Merry Christmas," the older woman interrupted, smiling as they pulled away. "I'll take care of the oven." She made a shooing with her hand, a mock stern expression appearing on her face. "Now go! Enjoy yourself. Don't let me slow you down."

Artemis grinned at her. "You'll never slow me down." Then, she sprinted back into her room, out the window, and into the alleyway.

Stepping into the phone booth, she closed her eyes as the familiar tingling feeling ran up her skin as her entire body disintegrated.

_Recognized: Artemis B06_

"Artemis!" multiple voices crowed, and she suddenly found herself enveloped in a ball of flailing arms and grinning faces. "Merry Christmas!"

She'd heard those two words quite a bit in the last hour.

"Oof!" she grunted. "Hi, guys. What's up?"

Five smiling faces turned up to look at her. Robin surfaced from the back, holding out a note to the pinned archer.

Artemis squinted at the words on the page: _To my beloved Artemis: Four loving friends._

Artemis narrowed her eyes at the group in front of her. Robin, Zatanna, Rocket, Aqualad, Tula... "That's five, Wally!" she called.

Robin smirked. "I may or may not have actually been asked to be here. Well, bye!" He cartwheeled backwards, cackling his creepy little cackle as he flipped out of sight.

Artemis snorted. She was surprised it had taken the Boy Wonder till now to start sabotaging Wally's plan. Maybe because it was the last day, Rob figured this was his last chance to do it. Actually, he did put Wally in the pear tree... And sent some weird texts... And spilled the twelve days of Christmas idea on Day One... Yeah, he'd been trolling from the start.

As the group around her began to disperse, the zeta tubes whirred to life behind her.

_Recognized: Kid Flash B03_

A yellow blur zipped out of the zeta tube, screeching to a halt in front of Artemis. Before the archer could react, Wally reached up to gently hold her face, speedily planting three kisses alternately on her two cheeks, and stuffing a piece of paper in her hands. "Merry Christmas," came a hurried whisper, then the speedster zipped off down the hallway.

Artemis blinked. What, they were just supposed to ignore each other until this whole mess was over?

She lifted the crumpled paper in her hands, smoothing it out to make the words legible.

_To my beloved Artemis: Three French pecks._

She sighed softly. "Oh, Wally."

M'gann and Conner sidled up to her, wrists joined by a white ribbon.

The Martian grinned excitedly. "Hi, Artemis! Merry Christmas!" She gave Artemis a side hug, only stopped from outright smothering Artemis in a real hug due to her otherwise occupied left wrist.

Even Conner offered a small smile. "Merry Christmas."

Artemis nodded at the two of them, smiling at M'gann's glowing features. "Merry Christmas to you, too." She forced herself not to stare openly at the piece of paper twisted in the ribbon: _To my beloved Artemis: Two lover birds._

_Recognized: Red Arrow 21_

Conner and M'gann started in surprise at the unexpected designation. Artemis, however, was merely resigned.

Even before his facial features had fully reformed, it was clear that Roy was _angry_.

The red haired archer stalked toward her, rage radiating from him in waves that sent the rest of the team stepping back in trepidation. "Where...is...he?" he ground out through gritted teeth.

Artemis wordlessly pointed down the hall.

Ignoring the startled looks as he walked past, Roy stormed off down the designated hallway, leaving the shocked team members to stare at his stiff back.

The moment he disappeared around a corner, Artemis started after him. "Come on," she called to the others. "You _don't_ want to miss this."

Upon reaching the lounge, Artemis barely held back a vicious smile at the scene before her.

Wally, who had apparently changed into civvies upon arrival, had been backed up into the wall, Roy Harper's hand fisted tightly in the collar of his jacket. The deer in the headlights expression on the speedster's face was almost enough to send Artemis over the edge—in laughter, that is.

She supposed she should probably be sympathizing with her boyfriend, or maybe step in and separate them... Nah. Wally could take care of himself.

"—realize how hard it is to get the money to buy arrows like these?" the older teen was snarling, waving one of his (red) arrows dangerously close to Wally's face.

Wally frowned, shrinking slightly in fear of either the intense glare or the sharp point—Artemis wasn't sure. "Um...a lot?"

"Too much!" Roy spat. "And you're going to pay me back for every single arrow. Plus interest!"

Wally paled. "But...but Roy..."

"Don't," Roy hissed. "If it wasn't Christmas, you'd be running around the rooftops as my target practice right now. As it is, you will give me every penny by New Years Eve or I _will_ kill you. Understood?"

Wally's back went ramrod straight—well, as straight as he could get with Roy's hand tangled in his jacket—and saluted stiffly with one hand. "Yes, sir!"

"Good." Roy leaned back, shoving the boy away from him. "Now get out of my sight."

Wally didn't have to be told twice.

After the blur had left, Artemis allowed the amused smirk to show on her face. She swiftly wiped it clean, however, aiming for neutral as Roy turned in her direction.

"And you," Roy said, pointing an accusing finger at her. "Keep him in line."

Artemis nodded solemnly. "I'll certainly do my best."

Roy nodded, seemingly satisfied, then stalked out of the room, headed for the zeta tubes.

The newer team members ogled his retreating back as Artemis met Kaldur's gaze. They simultaneously rolled their eyes. Typical Roy.

"I've got sodas in my room," Artemis announced, jerking the others out of their stupors. "Let's get this party started!"

She slipped out of the room as raucous cheers sounded behind her, headed to her room to retrieve the sodas. Passing by an adjacent hallway, however, she saw a sight she'd thought she'd never see again: a peach tree with a certain bird perched in its branches.

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "Robin? How'd you get up there again?"

The Boy Wonder shot her a wicked grin. "Let's just say Wally owes me for this whole thing— _big_ time."

Artemis raised the eyebrow higher. "Do I really want to know?"

Robin's smile grew impossibly wider. "Maybe. I'll send you the video."

Artemis smirked. "Deal."

"Oh, and Artemis," Robin said mischievously as she turned to leave. He pulled out a phone, snapping an upside down photo of the archer. "We'll laugh about this someday."

Artemis managed a small smile. "Yup."

_To my beloved Artemis: A Robin in a peach tree._

—O—

 _...Twelve drumsticks burning_  
_Eleven skypers Skyping_  
_Ten Leaguers leaping_  
_Nine sweethearts dancing_  
_Eight pops for licking_  
_Seven fish a-floating_  
_Six bucks for savings_  
_Five golden arrows_  
_Four loving friends_  
_Three French pecks_  
_Two lover birds_  
_And a Robin in a peach tree_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be an epilogue coming out on New Year's Eve! Keep an eye out for that, and everyone have a blessed Christmas! :)


	14. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted from Fanfiction.net.
> 
> Original publish date: 12-31-14

_Central City  
December 31, 23:12_

Artemis sighed contentedly, taking in the beautiful scene all around her. Sure, some thought that snow was annoying. But there was something about the soft white flakes that seemed...pure. Compared to the usual bleak black and grey of Gotham—which in itself marked the tragedy and violence in its streets—the innocence of the white blanket advertised peace and tranquility.

Unless, of course, one happened to be walking with her megamouth boyfriend.

The two had managed to slip out of their houses an hour before midnight, choosing to take a stroll around the park in Central City (since no one in their right mind walked around Gotham City at night, even on New Year's Eve), hands intertwined.

At this point, it had been silent between them for a grand total of ten seconds. Artemis patiently awaited the next random stream of gibberish, simply happy to just be with him at the moment.

They still had yet to break in on the elephant in the park. And from the extended silence, Artemis had a feeling she knew that particular topic was coming next.

"So," Wally said finally, attempting to sound nonchalant and coming out more—as Robin would say—chalant. "What did you think?"

He didn't need to say anymore. Artemis knew exactly what he was talking about: the 12 Days of Christmas.

And oh boy. There was a lot she could say to that. However, one thing pushed to the forefront of her mind: "Drumsticks?" she snorted. "Really?"

Wally stared at her, confused. "What? Drumsticks are a great present!"

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Burnt to a crisp and smoking, too, I suppose?"

Wally blinked. A chagrined look appeared on his face. "Aw, man! They were supposed to be roasting!"

"I noticed. Where did you get all those sweethearts? They're hardly in season."

The speedster rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck. "I may have found a stash I kept in first grade."

Artemis's nose crinkled. Thank goodness she hadn't eaten any of them. Having been to Wally's room many times, she knew just how much junk could be hidden within the other junk all over the floor. Deciding to keep her boyfriend on edge, she kept up the barrage of questions: "Where'd you get all the milk cartons?"

Wally laughed nervously. "Well, when there's two speedsters in the house, let's just say food doesn't really last very long. Both my mom and Aunt Iris get tired of walking them out to the recycle bin all the time, so I took them off their hands."

"And the goldfish?"

"The pet store and Pepperidge Farm."

"The golden arrows?"

Wally stiffened, giving her a wary look. "Scavenging."

"How'd you convince the girls to text me?"

Wally blushed a beet red. He mumbled something under his breath.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Artemis said, leaning in closer.

Wally cleared his throat. "Autographed pictures of Robin," he grumbled.

Artemis snickered. "I guess that answers my next question as to how you got _Rob_  to text me."

Wally looked horrified. "You know?!"

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know who Robin is. It was so stinking obvious once I put the pieces together." She gave him a chiding look. "It connected when you put his civilian persona in a pear tree."

Wally shifted uncomfortably. "Oops."

There was a tense silence, more on Wally's part then on Artemis's.

"By the way, I've been meaning to ask," Artemis said, innocently. "How did your mom and Aunt Iris react when they found out you stole their pajamas?"

"How'd you like the pear tree?" Wally countered, ignoring her request.

"You ate all the pears," Artemis observed offhandedly.

"I was hungry!" he protested. Then, he sighed. "Can't you just tell me what you thought overall?" He gave her a look, eyes pleading like a kicked puppy.

"You mean despite the fact that our kitchen cupboards are full of baguettes, I have 24 giant lollipops under my bed, there's more milk than my mom and I consume in a year in the fridge, and there's one and a half quivers of golden arrows stashed in my closet?"

"Um...yes?"

Artemis resisted the almost irresistible urge to roll her eyes. "It was awfully sweet, Wally. But there's only one thing I want for Christmas."

Wally cocked his head. "Really? Just say the word, and it's yours, baby!"

Artemis gave in and rolled her eyes. "I almost don't want to. I might regret it later. It can't exactly be returned."

Wally slung an arm over her shoulders. "Aw, come on, Artie. You can tell me."

"Don't call me Artie," Artemis snapped. Then, she sighed. "Fine. I want a boy with bright red hair, an unstoppable mouth, and a crappy sense of humor."

A frown crossed Wally's lips, his arm slipping off of Artemis's shoulder. "And who would that be?" he asked, green eyes wide and pitiful, yet somehow flashing with anger and suspicion at the same time.

Artemis punched him lightly in the chest. " _You_ , Baywatch."

Understanding dawned in Wally's eyes. "Oooooohhh..." His eyebrows furrowed. "My humor is crappy?"

Artemis rolled her eyes again.

They walked for a long moment in a silence only broken by the crisp wind whistling through the bare trees around them.

"So what did you promise Rob to get him to cooperate?" she asked casually. "I'm guessing he had a hand in like, everything electronic related, not to mention you kept shoving him into a pear tree."

The speedster froze in his tracks, an emotion almost like fear appearing in his emerald eyes. "Oh... Um... Hehe, you know Rob."

Artemis barely forced back a smile. "Oh yes. I do. He also promised to send me the footage."

The blood drained from Wally's face so fast, Artemis didn't even have time to blink.

Unable to hold back anymore, Artemis let out a snort of laughter. That's all it took. She totally cracked up, holding her stomach as her boyfriend shot her a chagrined look, his face as white as the snow falling around him.

"It's—it's not funny!" he stammered.

Artemis wiped tears of mirth from her eyes, struggling to contain herself as she managed to stand straight again. "Yes. It is," she countered, giving him a shark-like grin.

Feeling she'd teased him enough, she leaned over and hugged his arm, patting his hard chest lightly. "Don't worry. I'll still love you. Probably."

Wally gave her a severely chastened look. "Probably?" he whined.

She cocked her head. "Well, in order that I won't be so ticked at you for the first month of the new year, I'm going to need to get some sort of payback."

Wally immediately looked wary. "What sort of payback?"

A smirk played at the corners of her mouth. Before Wally could react, she scooped up a handful of snow and chucked it into his face. "That!"

Hastily brushing the snow from his cheeks, a bright red nose and glaring green eyes became visible through the crystals. "Oh, it's on."

The couple separated, sprinting in opposite directions as they searched for cover. Artemis dove behind a park bench, white powder flying as she single-bodily dug out her trench.

Peering through the wooden slats of the bench, she saw that Wally had already built his own fort, packing snow on three sides to form a cornered "U." She noticed with a frown that a hefty stack of snowballs already stood beside the walls, appearing far from innocent.

Determinedly, she dug her hands into the snow on the side of the bench, compressing it between her hands to start making her snowballs.

Without warning, the bench guarding her shuddered, a spray of snow flying into a Artemis's face as a snowball slammed into the back of the bench. And then another. And another. And another.

Wally was literally a human machine gun as snowball after snowball smacked and shattered against the wooden park bench. Hopefully her boyfriend wouldn't be charged with vandalism if the public furniture broke.

_Oops, we were having a snowball fight 'cause he gave me weird presents for Christmas, and the bench kinda broke. Sorry._

Just as suddenly as it had started, the snow storm stopped.

Artemis cautiously peered around the side of the snow-caked bench. Visible in the lowlight was Wally, outside of his protective fort, furiously replenishing his ammo. And presenting a rather tempting target.

She smirked, rolling the hard packed ball in her hands. Her turn.

Even in the dim light of the street lamp, Wally was a big target. And he was only twenty feet away. Piece of cake.

She drew back her arm, judging angle and trajectory. There wasn't much wind, as the snow was falling straight down—well, as straight down as is possible for a snowflake. The shot was laughably easy.

Three... Two... One...

She wind milled her arm, releasing the snowball.

It flew end over end through the air, briefly disappearing against the white backdrop.

Artemis didn't wait to see the results of her labor, quickly grabbing another snowball and chucking it after the first. Within seconds, Wally cried out in surprise, pitching forward with a suspicious white something or other plastered on the back of his head.

The other snowball grazed the top of his flat form, pitching into the pile of snowballs he'd been building instead and bowling them over like pins.

"Yes!" Artemis cried, doing a victory fist pump for her boyfriend's benefit. "Artemis two, Wally zero!"

She quickly ducked behind the bench as a wall of white headed her way, thudding into the bench so hard, the old slats vibrated, creaking and groaning in protest.

Artemis grinned wickedly as the shots finally ceased. "Is that all you got?" she jeered as he staggered into view once again.

"You ain't seen nothing yet," Wally retorted.

Artemis smirked as she prepared her next throw.

Wally may have quantity. But Artemis had quality. Speed vs. Accuracy—which one was better in a snowball fight?

Pretty quickly, Artemis sided with accuracy.

All she had to do was wait for Wally to exhaust his supply of snowballs in an admittedly impressive constant barrage, and then she could easily pop up and chuck a few shots into his nose and rear as he scrambled to pack more snowballs.

And the best part? Wally kept plowing farther and farther away from his fort with every reload, having used all the good snow behind his fort before the game had officially begun. And that meant he was vulnerable for much longer periods of time.

Artemis was careful to take full advantage.

Before too long, both of them were bearing bright red faces, huffing large clouds of steam into the cold night air, and practically dripping with melted snow.

"Haven't...done that...in years," Artemis panted, lying flat on her back in the mid ground between the two makeshift shelters.

"Last time...was with Rob," Wally huffed beside her. "I had...nothing to shoot at."

Artemis gave a breathy laugh. "I...wouldn't doubt it."

"Snow angel!" Wally yelled suddenly, apparently having caught his breath already as he waved his arms up and down rapidly, shooting snow in every direction.

Artemis yelped in surprise, rolling over to cover her face with her arms as her boyfriend propelled snow like water off a dog. "Wally! Knock it off!"

After a moment, the swooshing snow stopped as the hysterical laughter started. "I got you, I got you, I really really got you!" Wally sang.

Artemis rolled her eyes, sitting up and brushing the snow from her jacket. "Nice to know your level of maturity." She leaned over, shoving down the sides of the angel-shaped crater her boyfriend had formed.

Wally squealed as snow blanketed him from head-to-foot, bolting straight up and shaking his head until fiery red hair was visible within the frost. "How was _that_ mature?" he countered, scrubbing ice from his face.

Artemis shrugged. "Don't know. But it was fun."

They lay there for a moment, staring up into the clouded sky as silent flakes fell around them. Artemis debated sticking her tongue out to try and catch one on the tip.

Without warning, a huge cheer rose up from the silence, and the two heroes jerked upright in surprise.

 _"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"_ came a joyful roar from every house as the bell in the clock tower began to toll the midnight hour.

Wally and Artemis exchanged a look.

Wally grinned goofily.

Simultaneously, they leaned forward, noses brushing lightly, hot breath puffing on flushed cheeks. And then their lips met. Everything else faded to white noise around them as Artemis leaned in, deepening their kiss.

She became dimly aware of his hand at her back, her own hand entangled in his wild red hair. She wondered if she'd ever get used to the warm, tingling thrill she got every time they kissed. She hoped not.

For a long moment, it was just the two of them, their intertwined hands, and their joined lips as the cheers slowly began to die.

After what seemed like mere seconds, they separated, panting slightly for breath.

Wally gave her another silly grin. He pulled a box out of his jacket pocket, holding it out so its silvery sheen glinted in the lamplight. "Happy New Year, Artemis Crock. Or should I say, 'Happy Anniversary'?"

Artemis smiled softly. "Either one will do. You didn't have to get me something."

"But I wanted to," Wally insisted.

Warily, Artemis plucked the box from his hands, examining it distrustfully.

"I swear, it's nothing like Christmas," Wally added hastily.

Artemis smirked. "In that case..." She pulled a card out of her own jacket pocket. "Happy New Year and Anniversary, Wally West."

Taking the envelope, Artemis watched him study it with a slightly suspicious eye.

"It's not payback," Artemis promised. _This time._

Wally nodded, satisfied. "On three?" he suggested.

"On three," she agreed.

"One...two...three!"

Together, they opened their respective presents.

Ripping off the lid of her box, Artemis stared at the item it contained. Lying on a dark velvet pillow, something silver shimmered in the light. It was...a necklace. A thin chain sporting a small oak leaf charm, the two shining merely in the dim light of the park.

"Fifty dollars to Bottomless Buffet?!" Wally shrieked suddenly in front of her, green eyes wide with shock and excitement. "Babe," he breathed, looking up at her, "you rock my world."

Artemis smiled. "I'm glad."

She reached down to the necklace, gently brushing the tiny charm. It looked so fragile, she was almost afraid she'd break it.

"Do you like it?"

Artemis realized she had been quiet for some time. "It's beautiful," she whispered.

Wally's face lit up. "Really?"

Artemis nodded. And she meant it. It was probably the most beautiful (and most expensive) gift she'd ever received in her life. Picking up the chain carefully between her thumb and forefinger, she slowly lifted it from the box, admiring the way it flashed as if it had a light of its own. "Could you...?"

"Sure."

Shoving his gift card into his pocket, he reached over and lifted the necklace from Artemis's fingers, reaching around her neck and fumbling slightly with the clasp.

Finally, he leaned back, scrutinizing her up and down. His nose and brows crinkled in the cutest way when he was thinking. Then he relaxed, his megawatt smile glowing in the dark. "You look _amazing_ ," he breathed.

"Thanks," Artemis murmured, her cheeks coloring slightly as she looked down. The oak leaf lay just under her collar bone, appearing as delicate as the leaf itself. "I love it."

"Me too," Wally agreed. "But not more than I love you."

Artemis flushed. Wally could be so _cheesy_ sometimes. Not that that bothered her that much. "I love you, too."

Their eyes met, and Artemis found herself sinking into those honest green orbs. Genuine affection reflected back at her, unhindered by any doubt or mistrust. Wally had always been so open with his feelings, if not at least somewhat loud about them. After she finally saw past her own prejudice, he was probably the sweetest boy she had ever met. At least, now that she was used to him.

"We should probably get back," Wally said finally, softly as if wishing he didn't have to ruin the moment. "My mom is going to kill me."

Artemis sighed. "Yeah, mine, too. At least she's over at your place." She smiled fondly at him. "That way she wasn't alone for the New Years and I don't have to feel as guilty."

"But still guilty?"

"Yeah, just a bit. She _is_ my mother, Wally," Artemis snorted.

"But...you had fun, right?"

Artemis slapped him on the arm. "Of course I had fun! Gee, Wally, stop being so paranoid!"

Wally gave a relieved smile, saluting comically. "Yes, ma'am."

He got to his feet, holding out his hand for Artemis to take. Despite being perfectly capable of getting up by herself, Artemis accepted it, allowing him to assist her to her feet in the knee deep snow.

Hiking back to the sidewalk, their hands still clasped tightly, Artemis (for once) felt perfectly at peace. They were together. Just as they would remain for the rest of their lives.

The corners of Artemis's mouth quirked up. "Come on, Baywatch. Let's go home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy End of 2015, everyone!
> 
> See y'all next year :)


End file.
